Summer Was Supposed to Feel Slower Than This

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. ”

— John Lubbock

Prefer to listen?

Summer Was Supposed to Feel Slower Than This

Kaylee Hackney

It’s official. The school year has wrapped up, the desks are cleaned out, the class parties are done, and we are officially heading into summer. It’s hard to believe another school year has already passed us by. 

I’ve spent my entire life living by the academic calendar, so summer break still feels exciting to me. Honestly, I think I look forward to it as much as the kids do. After the final stretch of May, all the end-of-year ceremonies, performances, field trips, and award programs, summer break feels like we’re finally coming up for a breath of air.

I’ll be the first to admit that I romanticize summer break. I start imagining slower mornings. Afternoons spent reading by the pool. Leisurely evenings outside, eating dinner on the patio, playing wiffle ball, and chasing fireflies. No rushing around; just enjoying the warm weather and time together. 

And then somehow (almost immediately) summer starts filling up.

Right now, we’re preparing to head to Illinois to visit Grandma and Grandpa for a few weeks. While we’re there, the kids will be at church camp, which means I need to have everything packed before we even leave. At the same time, I’m also preparing for a study abroad trip to London later this summer, and I’m realizing I still need to prep my course and sit down and map out what we actually want to do there outside of the class I’ll be teaching.

Meanwhile, we’re squeezing in last-minute playdates before everyone scatters. One of my daughter’s friends is moving, so they’ve been especially eager to spend as much time together as possible before the school year ends. And somewhere in the middle of all of this, I opened my daughter’s closet the other day and realized that almost none of her pajamas fit anymore, half the dresses were too small, and before I could even think about packing for camp or London, we first needed to completely clean out her closet.

I was standing there thinking, Oh gosh, we really need to get on this! It wasn’t a big dramatic moment. Just one of those ordinary reminders that summer often brings more logistics than we expect. And for some reason it surprises me every year.

We enter summer expecting rest because school is out and the rhythms change. But the removal of our normal structure often creates more work behind the scenes. More decisions. More transitions. More planning. More opportunities for things to feel scattered. Research consistently shows that women continue carrying the majority of household planning and caregiving responsibilities, even when both partners work full-time.

And during seasons like summer, when routines suddenly shift, that invisible planning load often increases dramatically.

What are we eating for lunch? Who still needs sandals? Did we register for basketball camp yet? What day are we leaving again? Where are the swimsuits? Why is everyone still awake at 11pm?

By the middle of June, summer can feel strangely chaotic, even though it’s the season we were counting on to help us slow down. And a key part of the problem is that we expect rhythm to happen on its own. We assume that because schedules loosen, life will automatically feel lighter, slower, more effortless. But when the school-year structure disappears overnight, we often need intentional rhythms even more than before.

Over the years, I’ve found that our family does much better during summer break when we create a few simple rhythms ahead of time. Things like keeping a loose morning routine even if we sleep a little later, planning simple meals during busy weeks, building in margin around travel days, and deciding ahead of time what actually matters this season.

Because one of the easiest ways for summer to become exhausting is trying to do everything.

Every camp. Every playdate. Every trip. Every Pinterest-worthy summer activity. Every yes.

But that’s not really the goal. I don’t want a summer packed full of every possible activity Pinterest throws at me. I want one that my family and I enjoy living. One filled with beautiful memories that we can look back on. 

I want evenings outside after baseball games. Slower mornings with coffee before everyone wakes up. Pool days that don’t feel rushed. Time to read books, take walks, and enjoy the people I love without constantly feeling behind.

And you know what? I asked the kids the other day what their top things to do this summer were.

Their response? Wiffle ball and swimming.

That was it. No elaborate plans, no expensive outings, no perfectly curated summer bucket list. Just wiffle ball and swimming.

A fun summer doesn’t have to be complicated. But it also doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because we intentionally design it.

One of the biggest lessons I keep coming back to is that every season needs rhythms, including summer; maybe especially summer. Because while summer removes so many of our normal routines, our need for simplicity, rest, and intentionality doesn’t disappear with the school calendar.

So if summer already feels fuller than you expected, you’re not doing anything wrong. You probably just need a little more structure and a little more support than you thought you would.

Before the rest of the season fills itself completely, it might be worth pausing to ask yourself (and even your spouse/kids):

• What do I want this summer to feel like?

• What is the one thing I want to be sure to do this summer?

• What’s making life feel more chaotic than it needs to be?

• What rhythms would help us create the kind of summer we’re actually hoping for?

The goal isn’t a perfect summer. It’s one that feels calm enough, present enough, and spacious enough that you can actually enjoy living it while it’s here.

If this is something you’re craving more of, I’d love for you to join us inside the Elegant Balance Collective this month. We’re going deeper into the idea of Simple Summer Rhythms, talking through how to create the routines and rhythms that support a summer that feels lighter and more intentional, even in the middle of travel, camps, sports, and full family schedules.

The Collective is truly one of my favorite spaces online (I know, I’m biased). It’s a place for thoughtful women who want to create lives filled with simplicity, beauty, and joy without adding more pressure to themselves.

I would love to have you join us!